It is time (to shed)
IT'S THE YEAR OF THE SNAKE AND I'M HERE FOR IT ๐
I'm playing with a new way of doings things. Sometimes I think it is a curse that I know too much about how things are supposed to work (digital marketing/business wise), that I don't give myself enough permission to do whatever I want to do.
SPECIFIC THINGS I AM SHEDDING AS OF OCTOBER 2025
The things I've witnessed over the past year have destroyed whatever shred of Honor Roll conditioning I still had in me (I won't fool myself and I won't fool you, this is probably going to be the personal development work I will do for the rest of my life, the Straight-A, Good Girl conditioning is a tough feature to debug).
What I am doing now is in response to that. The obvious stuff:
Migrating to a platform where I have more control and flexibility and better aesthetics (I am not accepting unsolicited opinions on how I can make this prettier)
Refusing to set up this page the typical way: Landing Page -> Some Stupid Hero Story -> Buy My Shit -> Not ready? Okay Here's a Freebie so I can Weasel my Way into your Inbox
Embracing that I have no love for social media, parasocial relationships, and behaving like an influencer. I am focusing on what gives me energy instead.
I am here to write, but I'm also not here to revive the days of LiveJournal. Everything that I post is written from my current perspective. The person I am today (and the person I will be tomorrow) is on a strict diet of "following my desires to the end of the world". I walk my talk*.
Which means - if something in here made you go "Girl, same" and if your ego allows you to say "I want what she's having" then LET'S WORK TOGETHER. I put together a program that is in beta testing.
*The talk being: I am a certified Reiss Motivation Profileยฎ Master and I've been taking my own medicine for the past three years. I've been testing different ways of delivering this service, and the way I do it is 100% informed on my own hierarchy of desires and where I'm at psychologically, emotionally, energetically.
The work is never done (but once you follow your RMPยฎ it is not really "work"). You are becoming, and when you understand what that means in your bones, then you can be in a loving relationship with yourself because today's version is always the best version you've ever known.
This work is for everyone:
๐๐ฝ for the masochists that demand too much of themselves
๐๐ฝ for the tortured souls that cannot stop the overthinking
๐๐ฝ for the frantic seeker that wants to love the reflection in the mirror
๐๐ฝ for the ones who are wondering "Is this it?"
I don't care if you are starting a new business, looking for a job, or not even in love with the concept of labor. If you want to bring that, cool. If not, that's fine too.
What we are doing is reclaiming our aliveness first. This word makes no sense to me until I define it. Aliveness is not the woman in the ad walking hand in hand with her beloved, it is not the feeling that marketing evokes in us when we see the sandy beach and the golden hues of the sun falling on the woman's perfectly aligned teeth.
Aliveness is the stuff that shame and guilt tried to kill in us.
Disclaimer: This is no replacement for therapy, and this is not therapy at all.
What we are doing: a sort of debugging of our operating system.
Most of us run around trying to live up to the version of ourselves that exists in other people's heads.
This is a problem. Those versions are not even real. The only thing that's real is the version that exists inside your head. And even that version is corrupted. You cannot see the "real" you properly because there are so many bugs that have been running unchecked for many decades.
What you think is your personality is a bunch of coping mechanisms strung together.
What you think shapes your identity are expectations that were given to you based on your gender, cultural background, socioeconomic status, and all the other identity boxes.
What you think drives you is a combination of your so-called personality interacting with these so-called values and beliefs, and this is all happening in a system that does not give a shit about your needs. The system just wants you compliant, and it sells you fake individualism in the form of consumer choices. It doesn't need your aliveness. Dead inside? Who cares, as long as you meet your daily quota.
It takes an enormous amount of energy and ability to see where and how you are doing this, especially because we tend to do this by ourselves, in the same place where all the fuckery is happening: OUR HEADS.
Most of us get stuck in the endless rumination:
Why am I like this?
Why can't I change?
Why is this so hard for me?
When am I ever going to learn?
Going back to the operating system analogy (I'm not a coder so allow me to botch this up): your operating system has its default settings and it is full of bugs. You are trying to go in and patch things up, hoping that something will finally stick.
The RMPยฎ is like the long lost user manual. Once you see your results, you can see what's yours (your OS) and what are the bugs.
Now you know where to debug. You'll know how to see these discrepancies in your life. You'll know what are the right questions to ask, and how to reclaim your aliveness.
Aliveness is honouring what your soul came here to experience. And, no, your soul did not come to have the experience of a Content Marketer, of a Lab Technician, etc.
Those are roles.
You are so much more than that.
You are consciousness contained in a complicated vessel. The mess is part of the experience. The RMPยฎ turns the mess into discrete piles that you can now manage. It tells you: FOLLOW THESE DESIRES. HAVE AT IT. THIS IS THE ONE THING YOU CANNOT MESS UP. DON'T FORGET TO HYDRATE.
